A couple of weeks ago I read this brilliant article from Matthew Ward on Medium, where he wrote those sentences:
Why had no one told me that it was habitual normal drinking that led to alcoholism? Why is there a cultural assumption that the alcoholic is fundamentally different from the start?
At some level, I knew alcohol was an addictive drug. I’d been told that. But no one had ever made it clear that it was exactly like every other addictive drug. It just happens to be legal
Regular use of an addictive drug leads to addiction. Substance abuse is the consequence, once addicted, not the cause.
What I appreciate so much about this article is that you see that the causes for the disease alcoholism aren´t necessarily in your psyche, but in your unconscious habits.
Wanting to find out WHY somebody became an alcoholic, while the person still drinks is the wrong effort at the wrong time in most of the cases .
Especially blaming the parents, the spouse, the environment or other extrinsic (and even intrinsic) reasons is just prolonging and enabeling the addiction. There is no point of searching for anything but abstinence in the first place and time. The only thing that needs to happen it to stay away from the substance for a long time. And if then there is enough capacity to explore and understand the disease – then go ahead!
First you become dry,
then eventually you become – sober.