Who am I without expectations?

This question I have been sitting with for a week now.

Here are my preliminary results:
I can plan and work on anything with the same passion and joy and besides add little pinch of not being attached to the outcome of my efforts.
I can do it and it has been a challenge.

It doesn´t feel natural I must admit:  I, we all are educated to crave for results and be disappointed when things don´t work out as expected. Actually, most of the time we are programmed to get results, beginning with toddlers whose parents have them learn stuff and compete with their peers in both, speed and quality. Who ever is first or best will get the reward. And of course, in this system- rewards can only be scarce.

By the time of transition from kindergarden to school the societal default mode of expectations and scarcity tightens up fast and undoubtedly.  Growing older, expectations only weigh heavier.

That issue has been covered a lot, with all the increased numbers of mental and psychosomatic disorders, burn-outs and illnesses which are highly linked to the elevated requirements and expectations of our times.

Anyway, I am practicing this new style of creating stuff – doing everything that is needed to reach my goals and somehow accept whatever comes out.
It gives me a little more rest and also curiosities: my brain, of course, questions my new style, I hear it revolting and I keep on acting according to my new Acting Design – Acting without Expectations.

The more I practice it, the more unexpected stuff happens!

Receiving is different than it used to be. Before it was a synonym to „get“ and more laborious. Now it is calmer and more graceful.
It´s somehow easier but so unusual!

I am just about to begin with it and it already is very, very interessting!

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