Psychologist and coach Amanda Crowell found herself really upset that she didn´t go to the gym although she said she would go. Instead of going to the gym then she started a three years scientific research about such a kind of resistance.
What she found out is this:
There are three major reasons why we get locked in a cycle of defensive failure, in other words, why we don´t do what we want to do.
- You think somewhere in your heart that you can´t do it.
You think some people have the talent or the genetics to do it, but not you.
For fighting that you need to develop a growth mindset in which failures will no longer be proof that you are not talented or genetically gifted, but possibilities to learn and grow. Success in such a mindset is the consequence of effort and not just a gift.
- You think people like you don´t do things like that.
It is all about what you identify with.
You need to find a role model „quite like“ you, who is successful in what you want to do, in order to allow yourself to do this kind of things, too.
- You secretly don´t want to do it. You just think you should.
Basically you value it for the wrong reasons. If the reasons are deeply motivating and touching you, you will stick easily to your plan. If your why is just a superficial „nice to have“- probably you will fail. You will follow any louder or more attractive temptation.
If you do those two things nothing can stop you:
Get your head clear and begin to take steps.
Here is the whole talk: