Unwanted and unsolicited Advice

It is actually quite simple…

Before giving advice, just ask if the other person wants it.
In most cases, advice is not desired, especially since the one who has to solve the problem has probably already considered what we are about to advise. Usually they considered the very same thing as quickly as we are to verbalise the advice, and that in the first moments of realizing the problem.

But sure, there are things we can do if someone has a problem and we want to help:

For example, we can ask – what do you need right now, or how can I help you?
If there is no clear answer, sometimes it just helps to keep our big mouths shut …
At least for a while.

And then you can still ask or make offers like:

Do you want us to discuss and brainstorm about the problem?
Do you just want to get rid of everything and I’m listening to you?
Do you need a big hug?
Do you need facts and informations?

In all cases, the person who has the problem also has the solution.
Only the solution is sometimes not yet clear to them.

And sometimes the person we want to advise has no problem at all.
Just confronting unwanted advice.

This Blogpost originally was published in German at 12.04.2019 as „Unerwünschte Ratschläge


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