Once Again: No!

My no sits next to my yes …
In the past few days I have understood the following:
If I express a wish and expect a certain answer as soon as I say it, then firstly I’m tense and secondly what I say does not correspond to what I mean. So I’m not authentic.

How comes?
When I expect a specific answer to an expressed “wish”, I request, command or manipulate. There is no room for alternatives or contradiction. I want to force an answer that has already been set, even if I put my order in words that do not sound like an order, but as I wish. So the words do not fit the content, because enforcing is something completely different than asking for something.

A wish is really a wish only if the answer can be anything but a yes, for example a no or a maybe.

It becomes even more interesting to realise that my wish is more powerful if I do NOT expect a specific answer. So I do not depend on the answer and remain open to all answers. In this way I remain authentic, independent of the result and – depending on the answer – can try out other creative variations.

The other party feels my authenticity AND the freedom to answer at will. Being able to say no without being under pressure means that love, solidarity and trust grow. Indirectly, it is even more likely that my wish will be fulfilled.

Expressing a wish and not expecting a yes makes your position stronger. You remain authentic and independent of the decisions of others.

This Article war originally published as „Nochmal Nein!“ at 26.02.2019

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